My Dogs, documented criminals

Sam and Cheney are now documented criminals.

Yesterday when I got home, there was a note taped to the door: My dogs had been picked up by the Animal Control Police and taken to the pound. I was immediately furious. There has been an ongoing, low level anti-Sam and Cheney campaign in the neighborhood - - - they bark, a lot. When Sam is outside, he wants to be in the garage, he barks and whines; when Cheney is a little hungry, she barks in a little boxer way. So, I figured, it was a little cold, a little windy, and Sam and Cheney's barking had finally pushed the nice lady behind me over the edge and she called the Animal Cops. I was soooooo mad, I was thinking of all kind of evil anti-neighbor things I could do (remember, I am a Green Beret and trained in such creative stuff) but decided not to do anything because it could cause a problem.

I went to the vets and got all of their shot records and drove through DC/Northern Virginia holiday traffic, STEAMING and SEETHING at my neighbors, the traffic, the fact that the Animal Shelter was soooooo far away, the radio (there are honestly no good radio stations in the nation's capital outside of NPR), and at the Animal Control Police. The nerve of those folks, going into my backyard and grabbing poor, little Sam and Cheney because they barked a little bit. That is one of the 4 or 5 things that dogs do: They eat, sleep, go for walks, and poop. I had visions of a draconian dog catcher, breaking down my gate, using one of those pole catchers to drag Sam and Cheney out of their houses and putting them in a big truck full of other snatched dogs.

I had my speech all lined up and was ready to vent my anger. I finally found the pound (Animal Control Shelter) and seethed in line, I got to the front of the line and presented my documentation to the lady that works there - - - I decided not to get mad at her, she was really nice, cheerful and helpful, I would get angry at the dog catcher.

I patiently asked the lady (she was wearing a santa hat, who can get mad at a santa hat?) why my dogs had been arrested and she checked the record. She had to call her supervisor over to help her with the computer, I also didn't get mad at the supervisor (she had a Christmas sweater on, who can get mad at a reindeer sweater?) and she told me that Sam and Cheney had attacked another dog, the neighbors had to separate them and animal control had to be called.

What? Huh? NO WAY. My dogs stay in the backyard, was the other dog in my backyard? Nope, Sam and Cheney had made a break for it and were roaming the neighborhood when Toby (my neighbor's very cute and well behaved - - so well behaved he doesn't need a leash when he plays in the front yard) came outside for his afternoon play. Sam and Cheney went into attack mode and the rest is well documented by the Fairfax County Animal Control Police.

Apparently, during the very high winds the gate to my backyard had blown open and enabled the crime spree. when I got back home and checked the latch, it was misaligned and would allow it to be opened by the high winds.

Fairfax has a dangerous animal law, if an animal attacks a human or companion dog more than once, he or she could be destroyed. I talked to the Animal Control Officer (a really nice lady, who can get mad at a really nice lady when she is carefully explaining the crimes my dogs committed?) for a while, she was concerned about Cheney being so skinny, I told her about the blanketectomy, damaged pancreas and pooping processes. She pretty much told me that she didn't think that Sam and Cheney were dangerous dogs, but they had to be entered into the system.

When Sam and Cheney were brought around, they went into their "totally innocent" act: Cheney started bouncing like a boxer, licking everyone's face. Sam sat down and put his paw up for a handshake, which is his way of breaking my anger at him down. Both of them were flashing their brown eyes, which normally make me lose all of my anger at them; totally unfair, but works every time.

After paying Sam and Cheney's fines and license fees, I recovered my criminals from the pound and headed home. I went to talk to my neighbors, a really nice Indian family, to check on Toby, they said it was no big deal and were worried that I would not know that Sam and Cheney had been arrested in time to get them out of the pound prior to the holiday shut down. I also paid Toby's vet bill, no damage done outside of dog-pride.

The criminals are now sleeping in their cage in the garage. They didn't get a walk last night, I figured they had enough running around.

Other news, Fantasy Football:

I am not in last place in the family Fantasy Football League, I am slightly ahead of my niece, Sydney. Syd went with the all name team, focusing on Seans and Jacksons (who knew LeSean Jackson was going to have such a season?). No science or analysis, just cool sounding names. She is close to passing me up. If she does, I have to keep the trophy (a fantasy football strategy guide that Wade found in a bookstore) for a year. There is a bright spot, my brother in law Mark is fading back to me. If I have a few more good weeks (come on Aaron Rodgers and Peyton Manning) I may not have to keep the trophy and Mark or Sydney will have to.